Psychological support after your baby is born
After your baby arrives, life may look settled from the outside while feeling very different within. You may want time to understand changes in yourself, think about the birth or find your way through this new stage of family life.
What might bring you to therapy?
You may be managing feeds, appointments, work or family life while feeling that the effort of holding everything together is becoming too much. Perhaps you have noticed a change in yourself, or your partner or family are worried about how you seem. You might feel distant from yourself, your baby or other people, or have a sense that you are going through the motions.
You do not need to know why you feel this way before coming. Therapy offers time to notice what has changed and understand your experience, rather than having to keep making everything look okay.
You can have support and still need space for yourself
Even with loving friends and family, there may be things that feel difficult to say. You may not want advice, worry about upsetting someone or find that conversations quickly return to how the baby is doing.
Therapy offers a different kind of relationship: a confidential space focused on your experience, where you do not need to look after the listener. There is room to feel uncertain, say something unexpected or take time to discover what you want to talk about.
After birth: making space for your experience
After your baby arrives, you may feel anxious, low, overwhelmed or unlike yourself. A difficult birth may still be with you, or caring for your baby may feel different from what you imagined. You can love your baby and still need space for grief, anger, uncertainty or the person you were before.
We support you with anxiety and depression, distress after birth, neonatal experiences and changes in identity and relationships. There is also room to think about your baby’s communications and what everyday life feels like together.
Questions after your baby arrives
Everyone expects me to be happy, but I feel low or empty since having my baby. Can you help?
Yes. It can feel lonely to be struggling when people around you assume this should be a happy time. You may feel tearful, numb or unable to enjoy things, and then feel guilty about that too. We help with postnatal depression and low mood, with room for how you actually feel, rather than how you think you should feel.
I love my baby, but I’m not enjoying being a parent. Is it okay to say that?
Yes. You can love your baby and miss your old life, feel trapped by the demands of caring or wonder why this is so much harder than you expected. These can be painful things to admit, especially when you worry how they will sound. Therapy gives you space to talk honestly about them and think about what you need.
I’m having frightening thoughts I don’t want. Can I talk to you about them?
Yes. Unwanted thoughts can be frightening, particularly when they concern someone you love and want to protect. You may be afraid of what they mean or how someone will react if you say them aloud. We offer a place to talk about them without judgement and understand the distress they cause. If you feel you may act on thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, seek urgent help; call 999 if there is immediate danger.
The birth is over, but I still feel upset or frightened by what happened. Can you help?
Yes. A difficult or traumatic birth can leave you feeling frightened or on alert even after it is over. Memories, anger or grief may persist while others expect you to feel relieved. We help you make sense of what happened and how it affects you now, including your relationships and experience of parenthood.
My baby was in a neonatal unit. Why does it still feel hard now we’re home?
Coming home does not necessarily bring an end to what you have been through. You may still feel on alert, find it difficult to trust that your baby is safe or grieve the early weeks you had hoped for. We support parents after neonatal care, with space for your experience of hospital, separation and getting to know your baby at home.
I’m overwhelmed or angry, and I don’t feel like myself. Can you help?
Yes. You may be getting through each day while feeling stretched beyond what you can manage, then feeling guilty about being irritable or wanting time away. We help you explore what is happening beneath those feelings, including exhaustion, loneliness and the changes in who you feel you are since becoming a parent.
I’m not sure my difficulties are serious enough. Do I need a diagnosis?
No. You do not have to wait until you can no longer cope or have a name for what is happening. Something may look manageable from the outside and still feel very hard to live with. You can ask for support because you are finding things difficult.
Fathers, partners and your relationship
You may be coping with pressure to stay strong, uncertainty about your role, anxiety, changes in intimacy, or feelings that have been difficult to share. Becoming a parent can also stir up memories of your own childhood or expectations about the kind of parent you should be.
We provide a reflective space for men and other non-birthing partners navigating pregnancy, parenthood and loss. You can seek help for yourself: you do not need to attend as part of a couple.
- Worry, low mood or emotional distance
- Identity and changes in your relationship
- Connection with your baby
- Supporting a partner while needing support yourself
- Grief following pregnancy or baby loss
Finding someone to talk to
All our clinicians welcome enquiries from fathers and partners. You can approach any member of the team, and you can come on your own. The right person for you will depend on what you need and the way you would like to work.
Individual and relationship-focused support
Our service is centred on the experiences of the whole family. Where it makes clinical sense, we can explore the impact on partner and parent-infant relationships, with the format of therapy agreed after an initial discussion.
Questions fathers and partners ask
You do not need to know the right name for what you are experiencing before asking for help.
I’m a father or partner and I’m struggling too. Is there support for me?
Yes. You may feel expected to stay strong or focus on everyone else while your own anxiety, low mood or uncertainty goes unnoticed. We support fathers and non-birthing partners with depression, anxiety and the changes of parenthood. There is space for your experience, even when someone else in the family is also having a hard time.
I need someone to talk to, but my partner doesn’t want therapy. Can I come alone?
Yes. You can have a space for yourself without your partner or baby attending. You may need to understand your own feelings before knowing how to talk about them at home. All our clinicians welcome individual enquiries; you can choose whom you would like to approach.
I feel left out or unsure where I fit since the baby arrived. Can I talk about that?
Yes. You may feel pleased about your baby and still feel displaced, lonely or unsure of your place in the family. Feelings of jealousy or distance can be hard to admit when you think you should only be supportive. We help you explore them and what you want your relationships with your partner and baby to be.
We argue more since having a baby, and I miss how we used to be. Can you help?
Yes. Exhaustion, changed roles and less time together can leave both parents feeling unseen, even when each is trying hard. Arguments may become a way of expressing needs that are difficult to put into words. We help you understand these patterns and find ways to talk about what each of you is experiencing.
My partner is struggling. Is it selfish to want support for myself?
No. You may be trying to hold everything together while feeling worried, exhausted or alone yourself. Having somewhere to talk does not take away from your partner’s needs. We offer space for what this is like for you, including feelings you may find difficult to share at home.
Returning to work and sharing your baby’s care
You may be dreading the return to work, looking forward to it, or feeling both at once. There is space to think about confidence, identity, guilt and the practical demands of this next stage.
Finding support that fits you
All our clinicians welcome enquiries across the service. We welcome mothers, fathers, partners and grandparents, including people seeking support as individuals. You can name a clinician you would like to work with or ask us to help you choose.
Online therapy is available across the UK. Before beginning, we explain the approach, availability and fees. Psychological birth preparation complements your maternity care; your midwife or obstetrician remains the person to discuss medical advice and recommendations with.
A place to begin.
You do not need to know the name of a therapy or choose a clinician before getting in touch.